Plaxico Burress, I don't get it.

I get that Plaxico Burress had a gun, and that he shot that gun in public, but he only shot himself... by accident... in the leg. Remind me because I can't seem to understand, why are we punishing him? How is he a danger to society?

I think it's safe to assume that Plexico learned his lesson about firearms but where is the civil threat?

Frankly, if I were the football player responsible for catching a pass that toppled perfect season of the New England Patriots, you're god damn right I'm carrying a gun. Fact I might even carry two. This is a perfect example of an individual aiming to protect himself and the state eroding that right. I'm not a big second amendment kind of guy, but I do take some level of comfort, however crazy the thought, in the fact that American can protect themselves.

Maybe I'm missing something big but from my perspective now the treatment of Plaxico Burress's case is totally not Platinum.

Nintendo DS while traveling... Platinum?

I live in DC, and as you might have guessed, we have quite a bit of tourists. Most new comers, myself included, are stunned at how the tourists behave. They frankly tend to get in the way. It's like all of middle America stampedes the city every weekend to clog up the escalators in the metro or stop and sight see while I'm trying to get somewhere. It's flippin annoying. Fortunately the tourists generally come and families and consequentially have not infested the bars as of yet.

If I was to be honest I would have to say though that from time to time visitors to the city crack me up. The extreme tourist has never seen the likes of what we got here. I'm talking about overweight dads with Hawaiian shirts and sun caps, tube socks with sandals, cameras and cargo shorts pulled way high. It's great! Once we even has a bunch of Chinese tourists take pictures with us while we were tossing disk on the mall. (I like to joke that it wasn't till later that day we found out they stole our wallets)

The question on platinum comes up in one such encounter with a traveling family. The entire family was in the metro and as soon as they had a free second every one of them popped out a little Nintendo DS and started gaming. This through me for a loop, maybe I'm a purist at heart and a little wearly of those things stealing my soul or something, but still... when your traveling?! I don't get it. But I will try to refraign from casting platinum judgment on such actions as those I simply fail to understand.

Under-accomplished football coach turned anchor really lets it all go at former teams party

Former 49er coach Steve Mariucci gets trashy... and he's a pretty funny guy.  I think partying with Steve would be fun but totally not workplace appropriate.   No wonder he never had a championship team. Zing.

The ethics of Michael Vick

Some of football's greats break down an absurdity in the animal rights arguments.  Deion Sanders thinks humans are more important than dogs.  I agree, but what about this wrench in the gear... what happens, Mr. Deion, when your Dogg is a human?  Where's Peter Singer on that curve ball?

What do the platinum readers think is the whole Vick fiasco a race issue?  God knows Vick has Platinum wild cat potential, and Deion Sanders agrees with me, but at the same time he also has quite a lot of, dare I say, wild dog potential?  Zing!

Are the 80's making a comeback? should they?

Platinum creativity from the 80's

I don't even know what to write for this one.  Simply stunned.  My little pony is back. 

New Glaurs is so Platinum

New Glarus has got to be the sweetest most amazing beer I have ever had in my life.  But you cannot get it outside of Wisconsin.  

At first I thought this was a bad decision on the part of the brewery; with a tasty brew like theirs one would think they could make a fortune if they expanded.  Then it dawned on me.  Maybe they are making a good decision.  After all, every brewery that has ever good national has seen a decrease in the quality of their product. You may be able to point to instances where a brewery has keep their beer tasting good while going national, but the undeniable truth is that the majority of beers that have gone national have taken a hit in the realm of flavor. For example, Sierra Nevada, Leinenkugel's, ... then their's the obvious example, Pabst Blue Ribbon: god knows they're not getting any ribbons now-a-days.  

 

The fact is, New Glarus Brewing Co. is making a logical decision to keep their product a novelty and maintain the quality of their good.  It's rather long term value oriented and as much as I do think they could make quite a quick buck if they went national I understand where they're coming from and I support it. New Glarus, you're platinum to me.  

JFK is awesome.

Just spent a couple of hours this weekend in JFK... It's great!  

It might have been that I spent the whole time in the jetblue part of the airport and it might have been that Dulles is worse then the Detroit Lions (maybe not that bad).  But JFK was really nice.

Let me just drop some convincing points:

1. Free wireless.  Yes.  I said it.  Free.
2. Touch-screen computers everywhere where you can order food.
3. Great food, and a cafeteria juice bar and not over-priced. (I had pulled pork Bao) 
4. Every things new.
5. The bathrooms are nice
6. You can also go shopping at designer stores.  

Basically I think JFK is Keepin' it Platinum.

Side note.  Dulles is the least platinum place I have been in a while.  It sucks.  they have these four wheel drive transporter things that remind me of a bad science fiction movie.  It's like Dune.  and they're slow.   Build a tunnel Dulles, less you run the risk of not being platinum. 

Snow!!!

So this morning I woke up with an unusual bounce in my stride. I couldn't quite explain it but for some reason I found myself humming and singing in the shower. Then in the process of ironing my shirt I was thoroughly delighted and it was fun. And for the first time all year I remembered not to eat my cereal so as to leave room for the bagels we get every Friday. It was gearing up to be a whopper of a day. Then as I was headed back to the office from a lunch meeting in the city it struck me... in the nose... a small flaky ice crystal. Then another. No wonder! Today was the first day of snow. Apparently it doesn't snow much in DC but I've recently spent some time in Wisconsin and this was just a delight. Here's to you, you magical snow goddess. If you aren't platinum... then my name isn't Lincoln McLain.

Greenberry's, a secret platinum stronghold...

Based upon aforementioned compliance standards at the office--i.e. keeping the always platinum promise--I regret to inform you that I cannot inform you about this wonderful new platinum joint I just encountered--Greenberry's Coffee (ampersand) Tea Company. If I were to tell you about it, which I definitely won't right now, I would likely say that my sole encounter is through a friend who offered to bring me a cup as a + externality from her own purposeful venture. I of course agreed. Turn down coffee, not I! ... said the surprisingly homogenous office worker.

If I were to not rate it on a platinum scale due to said aforementioned compliance standards, I would definitely not tell you that I give it two platinum thumbs high in the air and a surprise frown/raised eyebrow. Which is quite a bit for having not really told you anything.

Likely sources also provide scant evidence for citing of famed blogger Tyler Cowen at said coffee shop, of which I am definitely not even talking about right now.

So if you get a chance you should not head to Greenberry's Coffee (ampersand) Tea Company during work hours. Such an action would be outside platinum principles and I would be forced to refer anyone who blames such an action on me to this here post. So as to further imply that in no way do I endorse heading to Greenberry's for a delicious cup of glory juice in such a way that hinders platinumdum and in no way am I even talking about this right now.

Tao of the Dow is made of platinum...

The team and I have been taking bets for where the Dow closes on a day-to-day basis at work. We all bet around 10,000 today, which was expected after other markets did well over the night... The day ended up being an adventure where we were statistically trying to map the progress of Wall St.'s finest, it looked something like an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The gang becomes Investment Bankers...  Anyway, this is what the newspaper reported for our little race in the next day daily. (and by newspaper I really mean me writing a mass email)

Jen and toxic takes the cake in a truly remarkable sweep. The first part of the day showed promising growth as the market rallied to a high of 10,124.03. Both Karl and Hannah thought for sure they were going to be on the underbelly of capitalism's angelic bull as she soured towards the heavens, but the reality of government intervention proved unproductive yet again; looks like uncle Sam’s safety net has some serious holes in it. Momma Dow explored the sub Atlantic trenches as she ended with a 9,447.11. Putting new feelings to the old classic song lyric "Get Low." Drop it like its hot Dr. Dow. Here we were thinking the roller coaster was gong to start but it's still falling… This is going to be awesome!!

Reporters say that when Jen heard the news of her victory earlier this evening she apparently started beating her chest and shouting, "You think you can mess with Pen!! You don't know me!! Say My NAME B&%*@!!" Onlookers and co-workers alike fled the scene as she grew to an unusual size and proceeded to pillage the town. Which was a complete non-sequitur for the cute little Asian girl she had us think she was: and she never looked better.

Congrats Jen.

Don't register to vote in DC... try it, I dare you.

My Aunt just reminded me (yet again) to register to vote... Many of you--locals--may be aware of the massive campaign to rock the vote (i.e. Ba-rock the vote, partisan?) that has hit the metro like a fire at Metro Center (historic reference #1). If you are not, than you must either: be richer than me, never leave the house, or never watch MTV. I, of course, am none of the above. If I were richer than me, then that would be a pretty cool party trick. The point being, that voter promotion campaigns have hit the streets like an LA riot (historic reference #2) and I, a poor independent, was less than prepared (me < prepared) for the shock of having to explain a not so well developed political perspective to hordes of voter enthusiasts barracking me in the face with civic duty (pun so intended). My caring Aunt got wind of this and offered her wisdom, which was followed weekly prompts and prods to get off of my button and register. Not many times in my life do I associate well with an angry mule, but this being one of them I felt the need to respond to her with the following message.

"Yea I registered to vote. ‘Ended up being that I couldn't not register to vote. Every time I hit the metro some overly excited cute girl had a clipboard and a smile waiting for me. No decent person who took the metro in the past 3 months could escape their powers. I felt like a dolphin in a tuna net: it was very strategic of them... I resisted at first, signaling that had somewhere to go, very Scrooge of me. But after copious attempts at faking somewhere important to be... my defenses broke down like a west coast football team and they reeled me in, not even the catch of the day. (I felt dirty, and used, and registered)."

Maybe its because I'm disillusioned with politicians, maybe its because I'm becoming a grumpy old man, or maybe its because to the best of my own capabilities I really can't resist a good conversation with a cute girl, but the legend has it that Lincoln's heart did not grow three sizes that day. Fact it stayed the same because its made of platinum.

Brunch at Whitlow's on Wilson

In an effort to expand the influence of platinumdom in our local community Kaylin and I have started what we hope to be a long standing tradition in the greater platinum community: the process by which we hold others up to metaphorical standards that they don't know about. Sounds pretentious, because it is. Look we're just keeping it... well, you know.

So we hit up brunch at Whitlow's and it was sweet.

Kaylin Wainwright's take:
Ambience: Gold. We were seated outside so that made all the difference in the world. The interior is dingy and perfect for their late night cover bands, but for brunch I was happy we had the opportunity of sunshine. In regards to the other patrons: there were hung-over, slovenly types (so Lincoln fit in) and cute yuppies (so I fit in).
Service: Platinum. The hostess did lead Lincoln astray with her assertion that the biscuits and gravy were rated a 9, but she was friendly and prompt. Likewise the server was nice without being annoying, prompt without rushing us, and attractive without being slutty.
Food: Silver. I ordered the eggs florentine which was good, but failed to rock my face off. The homefries were quite good, however. Lincoln was disappointed with his biscuits and gravy, in part because the hostess was suggestive about their platinum potential. He noted that they needed more salt and pepper. I pointed to the salt and pepper on the table. Also, the bacon was overcooked. The mimosas were not platinum, but I would be interested to try their bloody marys.
Company: Aluminum. Just kidding, Lincoln, the company was platinum.
Overall brunch at Whitlow's is not platinum, but I'd be willing to try it again (particularly because of affordability) and see if their other dishes are better.

Lincoln McLain's take:

Prologue:
After not eating much and spending most of the morning propped up in bed watching football I got the delightful ring from one do-gooder on her way back from church. "Wanna get brunch."
I respond with "affirmative" and slip into my robo-trousers before performing morning-bear-yawn-calisthenics. A morning ritual of sorts ever man does that gets seldom mentioned in today’s biased media.
We walk together to Food St. (i.e. Wilson) and begin the long menu shopping process. Being of the poor persuasion I find it easier to look like I am a snob who is discussed with the content of the menu rather than the prices presented. This doesn't ever get far though as my stomach reminds me that it is on the boarder of cannibalism, less it gets satisfied soon.
Whitlow's was the first we saw so Whitlow's was where we ate.

Durelogue: (just made that word up)
Said waitress did say the biscuits and gravy was a 9. and those biscuits and gravy were no such 9!!! With out deceptive comment I would give them a 7. They did separate out the gravy from the biscuits, so you could pour the gravy over the biscuits (G.D. I am getting pretty hungry right about now). This sounds nice but it really didn't have the greatest effect. I am more of a soaked in gravy kind of guy. That's really where I see myself in life. Deceptive comment included I give them a 6.51.
Secondarily, said bacon was too crispy. This usually isn't a problem less the fact that when it is poor quality bacon to begin with it looses all it's pizzazz after being over cooked. The bacon was a disappointment.
Needless to say I kept my composure and managed to pull a buzz out of the mimosa, as was pointed out to me by my faithful companion. Cheers!
Service was nice and I did like eating outside.

Epilogue:
All and all, I give Whitlow's a sub-platinum rating. Though, I do not appose the idea of eating there again. Platinum is big. It's not easy to get. Come on Whitlow's, wow me!

I just slipped and fell and landed in a pile of not-platinum...

Thanks universe! Real nice of you! I didn't spit in your water bowl. Why did you have to go and let this bit of embarrassment happen? For those of you who don't know me, I do tend to shame my own expectations on a regular basis, but that aside this was unnecessary.

So the team and I were putting some good ideating to use in one of the small conference rooms (i.e. the old intern's room, one for my dead hommies) and we were bashfully taking a moment or two from time to time to shoot hoops on one of those stick-um basketball hoops that most offices have as corny give-aways. Yes we have quite a few, and yes I am getting quite good at miniature basketball. Bring it! When all of a sudden there came a shinny demon, and she said!! "Could you guys keep it down in here, every time you throw that basketball it echoes through our office..." she was, of course, referring to my bosses office. With our tail between our legs we all of course blamed Jen, who had no part in the basketball shenanigans.

Not-platinum successfully avoided. With a lie? Yes. But mean platinum was maintained...

Be it platinum or not-platinum, I leave it up to you.

Mr Rogers' moment... Platinum or not?

So I was packing up to leave today and I brought along my aforementioned new shoes.  Then it dawned on me... 

I sat myself down to switched out of those burdensome work-loafers and slipped myself into some trendy street kicks as some awesome techno music came on in the background.  Best thing is I left my loafers in a drawer at work.  Here's to you neighbor!! 

I'm really excited to be here...

Is that platinum?

Today in keeping it platinum

Being my first post I feel as if I should introduce myself.  My name is Lincoln J. McLain, Assistant to the Deputy Director of Constructive Feedback.  (It's just a title.) 

I was watching a movie you may have heard of called "Transformers." (it's just a movie)  and they had a scene where a couple of the human fleshies lock themselves in a library-esk room in the secret layer of the Hoover Dam after being chased by a small but dangerous little chub-chub transformer.  There just so happened to be a set of shot guns on display.  which they used initially to fight off the chub-chub robot unsuccessfully.  At first we thought it would be out-of-the-ordinary that there would be shot guns on display just when you needed them but then we realized with a quick gesture/flex of our arms that there are always shot guns on display... platinum moment number one of the night. 

Oh yea and I got some new shoes today, which I thought were gorgeous.