Is Outing People Platinum?

It's interesting to see how labels affect the ability of individuals to engage in real discourse (HT Natalie G). Personally, I'm very comfortable with not announcing my political beliefs. My experiences have told me that as soon as someone gets labeled, the entire conversation proceeds in a very adversarial way where someone needs to be convinced that their identity or beliefs are:
A) Wrong and Stupid
B) Misguided or naive
C) Evil
D) All of the Above

Although I originally was thinking about some dinner conversation I saw last night regarding an acquaintance's alcohol preferences, I noticed that I've seen that same set of events happen over and over again. I remember multiple situations where I've done it and where it's been done (that sounds way too harsh) to me.

For my part, I remember situations where I'm trying to explain the sexual orientation or political orientation of friends. Since I travel in what I would call a relatively eclectic political group, much of the outing I end up doing is to avoid what I believe to be unnecessary political sniping. I say sniping because while I don't enjoy arguing until I'm blue in the face, I don't have any problem defending my political beliefs when someone asks me about them in a serious way. At the same time, I don't think starting off a conversation with the off-hand comment that "Socialists are idiots" is particularly good. Not a really conducive way to start dialogue in my mind. To me, some good questions to ask before outing someone include, but are not limited to:

• Does the outing act as a pejorative or informational clarification?
• Have you talked to the outee about being outed beforehand?
• If the tables were turned, would you be happy about being outed in front of that person's friends(always good to throw a golden rule in there)?

If you can answer those questions honestly and come out on the other side clean, then you're in good shape as far as outing is concerned. If not, maybe it's time to rethink your outing ways. Then again, maybe I'm just being an hyper-conscious ass for thinking so much about this.

Therefore, with the season of reflection and togetherness in mind, I'd hope that everyone when interacting with loved ones, friends, and the randoms you inevitably see when you go home, tries to think twice about "outing" someone. I don't think it's wrong as a concept. But I do think context means something. In my experiences, in an outing situation, where Person A is getting outed, Person B is doing the outing, and Person C is the third party party learning about Person A's outable quality, Person A often doesn't mind talking to Person C about the outed issue, but they definitely aren't always so happy with Person B.

Have a good after-Christmas talk, everyone.