Tao of the Dow is made of platinum...

The team and I have been taking bets for where the Dow closes on a day-to-day basis at work. We all bet around 10,000 today, which was expected after other markets did well over the night... The day ended up being an adventure where we were statistically trying to map the progress of Wall St.'s finest, it looked something like an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The gang becomes Investment Bankers...  Anyway, this is what the newspaper reported for our little race in the next day daily. (and by newspaper I really mean me writing a mass email)

Jen and toxic takes the cake in a truly remarkable sweep. The first part of the day showed promising growth as the market rallied to a high of 10,124.03. Both Karl and Hannah thought for sure they were going to be on the underbelly of capitalism's angelic bull as she soured towards the heavens, but the reality of government intervention proved unproductive yet again; looks like uncle Sam’s safety net has some serious holes in it. Momma Dow explored the sub Atlantic trenches as she ended with a 9,447.11. Putting new feelings to the old classic song lyric "Get Low." Drop it like its hot Dr. Dow. Here we were thinking the roller coaster was gong to start but it's still falling… This is going to be awesome!!

Reporters say that when Jen heard the news of her victory earlier this evening she apparently started beating her chest and shouting, "You think you can mess with Pen!! You don't know me!! Say My NAME B&%*@!!" Onlookers and co-workers alike fled the scene as she grew to an unusual size and proceeded to pillage the town. Which was a complete non-sequitur for the cute little Asian girl she had us think she was: and she never looked better.

Congrats Jen.